The Older I Get

It's funny to me how when I lived at home, all I wanted to do was get away from my family and be on my own. Now, the longer ago that time becomes, the more all I wish to do is have more time to go home and be with them. I went home for Mother's Day yesterday and my family went to dinner and played games. I can honestly say it was a wonderful time. I don't know what it is, exactly, the way my Mom tells generic off-color jokes as though they are the most hysterical thing to exist on the planet, the familiarity of her bickering with my little sister, my stepdad's randomly interspersed advice, or the way my little brother just sits back and makes his own commentary on all of it as though he is a comedian observing a 1990's drama. We've always been a strange bunch. Stranger than strange. For the longest time when I was a kid, I believed, thanks to my Dad, that my sister and I came from what he called the MUBF - the Messed-Up Baby Factory, and that we were the end result of genetic engineering gone horribly wrong. Spaghetti night meant we ate naked. On Christmas, we sing "Check the balls on my big collie, fa-la-la-la-la..." We clean the kitchen floor by "ice skating" on it with soapy sponges tied to our feet. Whenever somebody burps, ze must never say "excuse me", but shout "OUCH!". Farts warrant a "Frapow!" Everyone has nicknamed me "meat-flinging-boob" for as long as I can remember, and acceptable dinner conversation includes, but is not limited to: making fun of redheads, the size of our dog's erection in comparison to a hot dog, cannibalism, and the fact that there are probably life forms in outer space. It was enough to drive a self-proclaimed intellectually superior teenager insane. Now, every time I go home, I don't want to leave. I'm starting to realize, too late, just how important family is. The further away I get from the place I belonged, the more I understand how crucial having a home is. Maybe this realization is what makes people eventually settle down and reproduce. That's a frightening thought. Being an adult is hard.