So, I just moved apartments, and in the process inevitably got distracted by all the random crapola I have around. However, I found this essay that I wrote my sophomore year in high school (four years ago) and thought it was worth sharing. Enjoy!
How to Spot a Musical Freak
They walk the hallways just like normal high school students. They are everywhere. They could be in the locker next to yours, sitting at your lunch table, even in your science class. Slowly, the students of West Albany High School are being converted into musical freaks! Luckily, there are ways to tell who the musical freaks are and who are the normal students. Read on to discover how to diagnose a victim of this terrible obsession.
If you suspect that your friend may be a musical freak, the first step would be to check their iPod. A normal high school student would have things like Fall Out Boy, Gretchen Wilson, or the infamous Queen, but look further. If you see things like Wicked, Rent, or South Pacific, there is a pretty good chance that your friend is experimenting in the musical freak territory.
The next step is to look at their schedule. Classes like choir, band, and drama are definite giveaways. Also watch which teachers they talk to in the hallways. If your friend is participating in the musical freakery, they are most likely very familiar with the infamous trio that leads the insanity: Cate Cafferella, Stuart Welch, and Cameron McFee.
If no signs are found in the iPod or schedule, you can also check for physical signs. The most obvious is the eyes. Look under the bottom eyelashes. Musical freaks are always staying up late learning lines and practicing music, or out late at rehearsals, so chances are you will find heavy bags under the eyes. Also check the feet. A musical freak will never have pretty feet. Look for blisters, bunions, and, if you're really brave, massage the feet. If the person exclaims, "Don't stop! My feet are killing me!", this person has most likely been spending a good amount of time practicing dance steps. Also, be on the lookout for sudden changes in appearance that may be required by a musical. A random shaved head, a sudden break out from night after night of heavy makeup, unannounced shaving of sideburns that he was very fond of, or an unbecoming new hair color after she claimed she would never dye it. Musical freaks are known to make drastic appearance sacrifices for their shows.
Eben more prominent than the physical signs are the behavior signs. Follow the suspected musical freak very closely in the hallway and listen. If you hear them humming "I Can Hear the Bells" or muttering a conversation between multiple personalities, they've probably overdosed on a certain musical obsession and now have it engrained into their brain. This phenomenon is known to some as having it "stuck in their head."
Also watch their reactions. Tell them some extremely insignificant "bad news" and see how they respond. Perhaps tell them that you ran out of brownie mix. A normal person would say something along the lines of, "Oh, sad", while a musical freak will shout in an especially dramatic manner, "Oh no! How can I possibly go on without brownies!" and possibly collapse to the floor in agony. Also, count how many times a day the person hugs you. If this number exceeds four, I can personally guarantee that you are in the presence of a very extreme musical freak.
Dealing with a friend-turned-musical-freak can be too much for a teenager to deal with. The MFHL (musical freak help line) always has professionals standing by. If you or someone you love is being converted into a musical freak, don't hesitate to call 1-800-MY-FRIENDS-A-MUSICAL-FREAK-AND-NOW-IM-CALLING-THIS-EXTREMELY-LONG-NUMBER-FOR-HELP.
You too can join the resistance to end this unnatural obsession with cheesy musicals. We can stop this spread of hysteria before it becomes a national pandemic. Don't hesitate or make fun; this is serious business. Unless you want to live your tomorrows randomly bursting into "Can't Help Lovin' 'Dat Man", we need to take every precaution available. Fight back or you too could be turned into a full-on musical freak. God bless you all.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
People
We are
from the transient at the market on Saturday with the patched pants and the adorable puppy who showd me a necklace, telling me it was made from traveler's stones and buffalo horn, which I purchased, even though it was obviously plastic, (Hey, it has value in the Labrynth!)
to the seventeen-year-old boy at the rock concert last night that was trying to grind my leg like a Schnauzer,
to the semi-professional baseball player singing his heart out to Taylor Swift in the hotel lobby this morning,
to the foul-smelling woman sitting behind me at my little sister's graduation talking loudly in her seventy-five-year-old chain-smoker voice to everyone around her through the whole thing and blaring her airhorn in my ear when her granddaughter's name was called,
what make up our race,
and what make the world.
from the transient at the market on Saturday with the patched pants and the adorable puppy who showd me a necklace, telling me it was made from traveler's stones and buffalo horn, which I purchased, even though it was obviously plastic, (Hey, it has value in the Labrynth!)
to the seventeen-year-old boy at the rock concert last night that was trying to grind my leg like a Schnauzer,
to the semi-professional baseball player singing his heart out to Taylor Swift in the hotel lobby this morning,
to the foul-smelling woman sitting behind me at my little sister's graduation talking loudly in her seventy-five-year-old chain-smoker voice to everyone around her through the whole thing and blaring her airhorn in my ear when her granddaughter's name was called,
what make up our race,
and what make the world.
Monday, June 6, 2011
I Am...
Precisely Punctual
Poignantly Practical
Properly Pretty
Pungently Peculiar
Painfully Possessive
Playfully Pleasant
Precariously Ponderous
Pensively Pushy
Perpetually Productive
Poetically Paranoid
Potently Pedestrian
Placidly Positive
and predictably, PENIS!
Poignantly Practical
Properly Pretty
Pungently Peculiar
Painfully Possessive
Playfully Pleasant
Precariously Ponderous
Pensively Pushy
Perpetually Productive
Poetically Paranoid
Potently Pedestrian
Placidly Positive
and predictably, PENIS!
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Friendship
"Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no survival value; rather is one of those things that give value to survival."
- C. S. Lewis
Perhaps it's because I went through a lot of my earlier life without many friends, maybe it's because of what I've been through in which my friends have literally been life-savers, or maybe it's because I've read way too much Harry Potter, but friendship has always been the most essential thing to me.
I'm not talking about "eh, I don't have much better to do, so I'm going to look through my contacts list and see who will watch a movie with me tonight", or "I could use someone to keep me awake while I study", but actual, tried-and-true, bonds of love between two human beings that make them valuable peices of each other's lives.
Today's society (and I mean not just the media, but the people by whom I am surrounded) seems to be slowly depreciating good, solid friendships. It's hard to find popular stories these days that aren't about romance, and I've often found myself seconded to the significant others of my friends, only to have our time together re-discovered after said relationship's unfortunately dramatic demise.
I'm not saying that I'm not a fan of relationships. I love mine extensively, for many reasons. However, it will never take precedence over the close-knit friendships that I have accumulated and find immensely precious. Breakups stab, but the loss of a friend, I've found, aches for so much longer.
With this importance as a preamble, I would like to take this time to divulge what I see in the ideal friend. This model is the kind of friends I hope to have, and the kind of friend I am always striving to be.
Friends are two people who find each other to be valuable parts of their lives, and who strive to make sure the other friend knows it. A friend isn't somebody who finds you valuable for what you have to offer, but for who you are. A friend will take time with you, not just upon first getting to know you, but as you grow and change together, to understand who you are. A friend will listen intently, and learn how you think, what you value, and what your dreams are.
If a friend truly finds you valuable as a person, said friend will listen to your opinion on matters and really consider it. A friend believes that you are a credible resource. A friend is someone whom you teach and simultaneously from whom you learn.
What you find important, your friend will also find important because you do. If you are a peace activist, your friend will express excitement when you share news about your cause. If you are really into a musician, your friend will stand in line with you to get tickets when said musician comes to town. If you devote your life to playing a sport, your friend will be at your games cheering you on, or at least ask how they went afterward. You must also take the time to find out what your friend values, and if you care about your friend, these things will be valuable to you as well, because your friend's happiness will be as important to you as your own.
A friend knows your dreams, and will go out of hir way to help you achieve them.
A friend will listen to you singing your heart-song, memorize it, and sing it back to you when you forget the words.
A friend will strive to remind you that you are important to hir, and to the world. Simple things like helping you with your chores, making you a card, giving you a hug just for the sake of being close, sending a text-message or *gasp* actually calling you on the telephone to remind you why you are special, or taking time out of a particularly busy week to spend time with you, even if it's just for a short time, can really make a friendship last.
A friend is someone with whom you can be yourself. Everyone has a "force feild" that ze puts on when out in public. This is the reserve you show in portraying your deep-set emotions. A friend doesn't judge, but in fact encourages you to share your real, true, raw self with hir. A true friend will also open up with you and tell you what is on hir heart. Friends don't hide things from one another.
When you are dealing with something difficult, your friend is there, not to fix the problem, but to take care of you and your feelings. As Sam said to Frodo in one of the most beautiful friendships literature has to offer, "I can't carry it for you, but I can carry you." Some of the people who have remained my friends through the test of time are people who have held me while I cried. There are some things in life that only friends can get us through.
Lastly, the most important words in a good friendship are, "How insightful!", "How was your day?", "I believe in you," "Thank you," and "I love you." They should all be spoken, ideally, once a week.
- C. S. Lewis
Perhaps it's because I went through a lot of my earlier life without many friends, maybe it's because of what I've been through in which my friends have literally been life-savers, or maybe it's because I've read way too much Harry Potter, but friendship has always been the most essential thing to me.
I'm not talking about "eh, I don't have much better to do, so I'm going to look through my contacts list and see who will watch a movie with me tonight", or "I could use someone to keep me awake while I study", but actual, tried-and-true, bonds of love between two human beings that make them valuable peices of each other's lives.
Today's society (and I mean not just the media, but the people by whom I am surrounded) seems to be slowly depreciating good, solid friendships. It's hard to find popular stories these days that aren't about romance, and I've often found myself seconded to the significant others of my friends, only to have our time together re-discovered after said relationship's unfortunately dramatic demise.
I'm not saying that I'm not a fan of relationships. I love mine extensively, for many reasons. However, it will never take precedence over the close-knit friendships that I have accumulated and find immensely precious. Breakups stab, but the loss of a friend, I've found, aches for so much longer.
With this importance as a preamble, I would like to take this time to divulge what I see in the ideal friend. This model is the kind of friends I hope to have, and the kind of friend I am always striving to be.
Friends are two people who find each other to be valuable parts of their lives, and who strive to make sure the other friend knows it. A friend isn't somebody who finds you valuable for what you have to offer, but for who you are. A friend will take time with you, not just upon first getting to know you, but as you grow and change together, to understand who you are. A friend will listen intently, and learn how you think, what you value, and what your dreams are.
If a friend truly finds you valuable as a person, said friend will listen to your opinion on matters and really consider it. A friend believes that you are a credible resource. A friend is someone whom you teach and simultaneously from whom you learn.
What you find important, your friend will also find important because you do. If you are a peace activist, your friend will express excitement when you share news about your cause. If you are really into a musician, your friend will stand in line with you to get tickets when said musician comes to town. If you devote your life to playing a sport, your friend will be at your games cheering you on, or at least ask how they went afterward. You must also take the time to find out what your friend values, and if you care about your friend, these things will be valuable to you as well, because your friend's happiness will be as important to you as your own.
A friend knows your dreams, and will go out of hir way to help you achieve them.
A friend will listen to you singing your heart-song, memorize it, and sing it back to you when you forget the words.
A friend will strive to remind you that you are important to hir, and to the world. Simple things like helping you with your chores, making you a card, giving you a hug just for the sake of being close, sending a text-message or *gasp* actually calling you on the telephone to remind you why you are special, or taking time out of a particularly busy week to spend time with you, even if it's just for a short time, can really make a friendship last.
A friend is someone with whom you can be yourself. Everyone has a "force feild" that ze puts on when out in public. This is the reserve you show in portraying your deep-set emotions. A friend doesn't judge, but in fact encourages you to share your real, true, raw self with hir. A true friend will also open up with you and tell you what is on hir heart. Friends don't hide things from one another.
When you are dealing with something difficult, your friend is there, not to fix the problem, but to take care of you and your feelings. As Sam said to Frodo in one of the most beautiful friendships literature has to offer, "I can't carry it for you, but I can carry you." Some of the people who have remained my friends through the test of time are people who have held me while I cried. There are some things in life that only friends can get us through.
Lastly, the most important words in a good friendship are, "How insightful!", "How was your day?", "I believe in you," "Thank you," and "I love you." They should all be spoken, ideally, once a week.
Friday, June 3, 2011
My Favorite Time
I think my favorite thing to do is to get up too early for something, get completely ready, and go downtown with nowhere to be for about two hours. I'll just get a cup of coffee, sit outside, and watch the city walk past. People/bird watching is my kind of meditation. (Well, okay, the coffee helps, too.) Some talk on cell phones, some to each other, and some to themselves. I can see peacefulness in an elderly woman or harriedness in a buisness-dressed man. Some check their watches. Some notice the same birds that I do. Some look at me. I always smile, and I usually get a smile back. I regain hope in humanity when people will take the time to smile at a total stranger. Mainly I just soak in the town and myself through the solidarity of the expirience. If it's rainig, (as it often is in the Valley) I watch people rushing to get out of the rain, I watch people accepting that the rain is there, and I watch the people who celebrate the fact that they can feel rain on their faces. I become still and present. Every now and again, I'll see the same person on more than one occasion, and I'll smile and get a cordially curt nod of recognition. This non-spoken bond of friendship based solely around the fact that we both enjoy downtown mornings is what makes me love living in a small town. Afterward, I usually explore a local bookstore or the public library. I'll never find anything as rewarding or as cheerful as a room full of books.
I suppose this is just a status update.
So, if you're not blind, you've noticed that I've given my page a makeover. Feedback on it's appearance and easiness to read are much appreciated. (You know you want to. You are on the internet, heck, you're a human being, ergo, you have SOMETHING to say.)
Tonight was my last meeting with my college Christain group for the school year. Looking back on how much I've learned this year and how much my friends there mean to me, I'm starting to feel happy about being here for another year. Perhaps I'm not a step closer to my dream of becoming a youth pastor, perhaps I am. Who knows what God has in store?
A really dear friend just gave me some prints of our most recent photoshoot. They're astonishing! I'm beginning to feel so confident as a model, and it does my self-esteem well to be excelling at something.
I've been having especially weird dreams lately, having to do with weddings, carcinogens, musical theater, and octopi. (Octopus? Octopotes?) I've also dreamed about being pregnant three times over the last two weeks. Dream theory says that means I feel about to create something special. I hope that's true. I feel as though I could be productive if given an outlet. Maybe I'll paint something.
I am very much feeling growth and change, but very much am still afraid, and am still stifled by my need to cater to old friends who take advantage of me and don't value me for who I really am. Sometimes I wonder if some of my friends realize how hard I go out of my way all the time to make sure they're okay. I wonder if they did, would they be more likely to send a text every once in a while saying, "How's it going?". I guess I just become old news and slip under the radar sometimes. I really should learn to speak up for myself.
I remember dreaming of the symbol of the basket, loaves, and fish. Very cleary, I need to remember that God will provide for me. (Even though I'm currently struggling to make rent and my car was just totaled by a stranger.)
Anyway, that's what's on Kaylie's mind today.
Tonight was my last meeting with my college Christain group for the school year. Looking back on how much I've learned this year and how much my friends there mean to me, I'm starting to feel happy about being here for another year. Perhaps I'm not a step closer to my dream of becoming a youth pastor, perhaps I am. Who knows what God has in store?
A really dear friend just gave me some prints of our most recent photoshoot. They're astonishing! I'm beginning to feel so confident as a model, and it does my self-esteem well to be excelling at something.
I've been having especially weird dreams lately, having to do with weddings, carcinogens, musical theater, and octopi. (Octopus? Octopotes?) I've also dreamed about being pregnant three times over the last two weeks. Dream theory says that means I feel about to create something special. I hope that's true. I feel as though I could be productive if given an outlet. Maybe I'll paint something.
I am very much feeling growth and change, but very much am still afraid, and am still stifled by my need to cater to old friends who take advantage of me and don't value me for who I really am. Sometimes I wonder if some of my friends realize how hard I go out of my way all the time to make sure they're okay. I wonder if they did, would they be more likely to send a text every once in a while saying, "How's it going?". I guess I just become old news and slip under the radar sometimes. I really should learn to speak up for myself.
I remember dreaming of the symbol of the basket, loaves, and fish. Very cleary, I need to remember that God will provide for me. (Even though I'm currently struggling to make rent and my car was just totaled by a stranger.)
Anyway, that's what's on Kaylie's mind today.
My Wildest Dreams
Right now, my most ridiculous fantasies exist of someone telling me, "Thanks, Kaylie, you really helped me out a lot."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)