Metal

So my trusty friend Baine and I were sitting around figuring out how to play the intro to "Enter Sandman" on his bass guitar, Lucy Cielo, when the constant erotic imaginings of his masculinity deduced that there should be more "Hot Chick Rockers". I concur. There should be more of us. Well, correction, there should be more "Attractive and Mentally Stimulating Female Rockers", as I neither have an elevated temperature, nor am I poultry. I don't know when this became about me, but hey, I do believe that in my role as insecure goth girl I am allowed one egotistical moment a month.
Anyway, girl rockers are awesome for many reasons.
One: Black lipstick on somebody who has the presence to wear it. On a bleach blonde sorority girl trying to be "different for a day" it is the most annoying thing ever, but come on, who doesn't love night kisses, where everyone knows from where it came.
Two: Long hair is way better for headbanging. This is why I am madly in love with the cellists from apocalyptica, but our country's need for more long-haired guys is not the purpose for this blog. Since we are not in Norway, females make great headbanging alternatives that can be quite aesthetic.
Three: Short-styled hair just says succincly, "I kick ass."
Four: If more girls start rocking, we will have fewer Brittany Spears', Fergies, and Taylor Swifts on the market. 'Nuff said.
Five: They are not impressed by your stupid Abercrombie and Bitch-oops I mean Fitch- polos. A man will actually have to be a man to get one of these women, or else us queer chicks are all the luckier.
Six: There is nothing like the smell of empowerment in the morning. (It's the lipstick)
Seven: They actually took the time to get good at a skill. Not any skill-music, and not just any music- ROCK!!!!
Eight: Guitars are just sexy.
Nine: Drums. Let me spell this out for you: she has sticks in her hands, and she hits things hard. As a drummer, I may be biased, but honestly, I feel 10x less of a mediocre cliche when I'm laying out a solid beat.
Ten: The occasional fedora.
Eleven: Rock concerts mean lots of bodies. Sweaty dude = gross. Sweaty girl = awesome.
Twelve: I'm sure nobody can tell, but I am in fact an advocate for non-traditional clothing. (See, there's that scarcasm thing I was talking about.) Different is cool. When will people learn this?
Thirteen: Flyleaf does NOT COUNT!!!! Take the black dye out of her hair and that CHICK is Lindsay Freaking Lohan. (I put this because Baine wanted me to mention her rock scream)
Fourteen: Heart, Within Temptaion, and Nightwish are all proof that average-looking women become hot when they rock out. Evanescence is proof that hot women make the rest of us want to hide under a bag when they rock out.
Fifteen: (this is Baine now...) Bassists, there are few thing more worthy of the title "fearfully and wonderfully made". Seriously, all other instruments are over rated. What is more....how should I say this....glorious? Than a woman rocking out to a rhythm she played down herself, moving her body to a heavy beat while fingering one of the sleekest instruments in the world. Allow me to be male for a moment.....drooooooooooooooooooooooool........
Okay, well, now that I've wrestled my computer back, I think I've proven my point, and now I'm off to eat the brains of mortals - It's humans VS zombies week at OSU.
Loli out!